Questions you may have

Do I have to talk about my past?

In short, you don't but it helps if you do. There's a famous quote from the Danish philosopher Kierkegaard that says "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards" Often the reason why we might be stuck in life, repeating the same patterns is because there is something unresolved in our past, so by working through our 'unfinished business' we can start to make different choices in the present.

What can I expect our first session to be like?

After our initial consultation, if we decide that we are a good fit to work together we can arrange your first session. I will then send you a client-counsellor agreement detailing things like confidentiality, cancellation policy etc. During our first session there will be a chance to talk more about what brought you to therapy and what you want to get out of it. I'll ask a few questions about the support you have around you and assess any risk such as suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviours. I'll take a few notes in that first session but ongoing it would just be you and me in a room (or online) for an hour.

I can't lie, at first it can seem a bit strange to sit in a room opposite another human being for an hour and just talk about yourself, so if you are feeling apprehensive about it that's completely understandable. Luckily this isn't my first rodeo, so however you are feeling (scared, nervous, anxious, unsure...) it is all welcome.

What's the difference between a counsellor, a therapist and a psychotherapist?

That's a great question, although it sounds like the beginning of a joke. Largely they are interchangeable and it often depends the focus of their initial training and how the person is most comfortable describing the way they work. I've opted for therapist (although I often use counsellor too) as that makes most sense to me. Most importantly though is to make sure any counsellor/therapist/psychotherapist is registered with a professional body regulated by the Professional Standards Authority.

https://www.professionalstandards.org.uk/

I am an accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society which can be verified using the link below:

https://ncps.com/find-a-counsellor/search-the-directory

How long will it take to feel better?

A completely understandable question and one that is difficult to answer. By engaging in your therapy sessions you will be taking positive steps to help yourself feel better. However, working with deep rooted psychological issues can take time and there is no easy fix. Once we come face to face with how we have been avoiding our pain, it can often feel worse as our old coping strategies no longer work for us. I know this sounds really disheartening but I also know what's on the other side: the deeper, longer lasting satisfaction of facing your pain and becoming stronger.

Sometimes a handful of sessions is all it takes to change direction but growth is a lifelong process and we are never finished. There isn't a 'right' way to do this and we can work at your own pace. Generally speaking, deeper and more meaningful change can take time and the therapeutic process takes a great deal of commitment of time, energy and of course money. Therapy is a process not a destination, or to put it more simply, it's less about where you end up and more about what you learn along the way.

Why won't you give me advice on what to do?

Because you are the expert on your own life. Whilst I have the training and experience to be able listen and reflect on what you might bring, I am there to help you live your life not mine. The choices that may be right for me might not be for you. Where appropriate I can point the way and shine a light on where you might need to go but the rest is up to you. Whilst the therapy hour is important, what you do in your life outside the counselling room is where the real change happens.